i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
