Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I intend to get homeless drunk
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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