"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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