Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We got so high we made milksteak
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
