Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize