i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
