wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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