So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
