sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
