He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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