Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
