I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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