Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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