I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
