Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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