I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
