college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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