Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
