I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
