Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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