if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
