getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize