I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
