Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
