Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
