It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
