I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize