Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize