hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
