So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
