best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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