I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
