She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
