She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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