Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
