The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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