Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
