Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
