My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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