You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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