Kiss
Puke
where am i from again
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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