Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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