You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He kissed a someone with a penis
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
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