wakey wakey hands off snakey
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Rumble strips road head = magical
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
