I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
