Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
