Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
