So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
