dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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