these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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