do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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