I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
