if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
