you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
