so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
