I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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