I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
