We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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