ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
