Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
